For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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