Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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