I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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