apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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