Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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