What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize