the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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