You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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