So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize