he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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