just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
