Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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