i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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