so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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