I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
