I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
