Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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