im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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