Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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