I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is Oprah even human
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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