Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
