My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
