I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
