I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
