So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
