No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize