He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
