well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
