hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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