Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
