Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
