Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
