Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
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