just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
