I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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