do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
