Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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