i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
