I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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