You're so nebulous sometimes
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
