she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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