She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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