nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
