I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
