Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
