have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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