I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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