What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
