Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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