the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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