its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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