Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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