i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
