I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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