Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"

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(904): View more from Florida

Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.

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(815): View more from Illinois

There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I swear to god he's a one man village people.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You humped everything and cried in an uber.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.

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