mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
