can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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