Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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