Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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