you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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